the parent i thought i would be

Its interesting how you change as your family changes. If you would have asked me what kind of a parent/ wife would you be.......i don't think i would have said what i do now :) Im a very controlled structured person....but Titus and Jon have changed me some (i still have those qualitys....if you call then that)

*we do have a schedule but I try and let Titus change it especially if hes in a bad mood.

*Titus doesn't wear shoes....his feet are made of steel i swear :) I use to judge people that didn't put shoes on their kids

*Titus eats food off the floor....and yes licks his spilled water on the floor (this is only in places i know arent extremely gross :) I mean grosser then our dog....Titus thinks he should eat her too (i think thats how he kisses her...but gross either way) but i let him


*we play when i should be cleaning something (this was and still is hard...i have to remind myself is that needed to be done before he goes to bed)


*he is thee messiest eater (i would have never thought i would have let this happen) but the cool thing now is that he loves to use his fork, its still messy but not as messy.......i just except that either Sedona will clean up the mess or titus will eat it later :)


*no tv while Titus is awake (unless im cooking dinner....which stresses me out anyways or Titus is in a bad mood) he does watch "Baby signing time" -but i use to have the t.v. on ALL the time even if i wasn't watching it. 


*eating vegetables.....we try and eat what Titus eats......i use to never ever eat vegetable...it was processed, canned, frozen or from a boxed and now we have a garden the size of a football field. 


*cooking.....Yay! i finally can cook.....well follow directions is what i mean by cook.....but im not going to lie Jon has to help me a lot! what an amazing husband!!! he takes my frantic calls way to much!


*messy play.....if it keeps Titus entertained ...I dont care how long it take me to clean up :) 


*i don't care what other people say (this is what really shocks me) there have been a lot of comments from people about you shouldn't do that or Titus can't have that or he shouldn't still be doing that.......well if you were his parents then you can decide, but your not so keep your mouth shut :) cuz i don't care! If it makes our life easier and less stressful then thats probably why we do it :)


*clean house.....im really working on not having it perfect for when friends come over. Jon says we don't need to make it look like we don't live here! 


Sorry for all the rambling but if you made it to the end can you pray that i TRUST for a nanny! Im having a hard time processing the difference between not doing anything and doing to much and not Trusting. I have placed ads on care.com and ISU student job board and emailed everyone that i can think of and even Facebook........so now i need to work on the Trust part....LET GO and LET GOD! its so easy to say then do.....Prayers to keep me from freaking out and take control even more!