HOW DO YOU DO IT???!?!?!?!?!?
I'm not going to lie I'm overwhelmed!!!! i need help! I kinda had a melt down (PMS) the other night and told Jon that I'm sorry I'm not like _(friends name)________, and he did an awesome job of saying i didn't marry ________ i married you! Even though that was the right and perfect thing to say it didn't make me feel better!
It has gotten a lot better recently now that Titus will sleep longer then 15 min and i found that i try and not to do everything in those few 30 min naps....i found that if i just pick 2 things that i want done in the whole day not just in the time of the nap because i get really upset with myself and Titus.....
do you guys have any tips to help me? or do you feel this way sometimes? I hope I'm not the only one! How do you find time to clean, exercise, cook (i hate cooking...good thing Jon likes too), or get ready for the day (or work) but still spend time with your kids....i feel like there aren't enough hours in the day!!!!!!
please share! cuz God willing we want to have more kids soon but if i can't get control right now how can i do it with 2 children?............How did i work in a daycare for 7 years and handle 20 some kids at a time?
can you share your schedules or how you and your husbands share duty's? JUST SHARE!
Oh, sweetie, I literally feel this way almost DAILY! That's honestly not an exaggeration. Right now, and I'm completely ashamed to admit this but since it might help you feel better and I love you I will... its honestly difficult to walk through my house. Honestly. It's such a mess- I've been putting more time toward my business, trying to keep up with garden produce (won't even begin to tell you how tall the weeds are in the backyard), and keep up with a toddler- who I- literally- lost... twice... today. As in, couldn't find. Once she wandered out the back door and was playing in the yard, and the other time she was holed up in our catch-all room actually playing with MATCHES. True story. So, you see, no matter how hard we try, we just can not do it all- and if we somehow manage to, we can't do it all WELL. I'm a stay at home mom, full time, and these things happen. And I even still feel like I'm not spending enough time on/with her. We just have to prioritize- some things we have to let go of... or let go of our standard for them. I'm constantly trying to remember that myself. So, I'll be praying for you- and hopefully it makes you feel better to know that good mothers and wives, even GREAT ones, aren't perfect. I love you... its a hard transition time you're going through right now, but eventually you'll find a kind of balance- it won't ever be perfect, but it will work for a while. And then you'll transition to something that will work better. And so on and so forth- pretty much for the rest of your life. :) Xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh my, Christina! I've been thinking to myself, "How is Christina doing all that stuff?!" Really! I feel overwhelmed all. the. time. My to-do list is always super long and, well, I've lost it too, so that makes it easier not to "do" anything - ha!
ReplyDeleteFirst off, not that I am full of answers, but you need to give yourself a break. You can't do everything and you have to be okay with that. It will get better as Titus gets older. The first year is full of so many changes for you and baby. Just try to enjoy the moments and let the other stuff go. (I know. Easier said than done.) YOu don't want to look back and say, "Wow...I really wish I would have spent more time with Titus."
And I write this in a -- "try to do this, not that I DO this" manner. I think it's really hard to be a mom and continue doing all the other things you did prior to caring for a child. I get really frustrated. I feel like Tyler comes home and I just start to ramble about EVERYTHING. It's just hard. That's all there is to it. But in the long run, years will pass so quickly, and before you know it, we'll be looking for something to do.
Also, it sounded like maybe the sleep schedule was giving your trouble? Or not? We had lots of success with Eliza using the schedule from The Baby Whisperer book. I highly recommend it. Eliza learned to fall asleep on her own and we had predictable eat and sleep times. Give it a try, if you're looking for some help.
As for duties -- Tyler and I share them a lot. Bath time is often by Tyler. Although, now that there are 2 kiddos, I do bath time more. Tyler also does bedtime routine a lot too, as I do the naptime routine during the day. I cook. Laundry is mainly me, but Tyler helps -- makes beds, carries a lot of the laundry baskets around, folds, etc.
I'll stop now. You're doing great, Christina. You haven't even been mom a full year yet and you have accomplished so much and done so much...including extra hospital issues. That's a lot, girl! You are an awesome, loving, hard-working, Christ-centered mom, friend, wife, etc. Try to relax a bit. So what if the bathroom hasn't been cleaned in a month...not that I do that though -- ha! ;)
you are doing SO much right now! I am overwhelmed with my life and I don't have half the obligations that you do!
ReplyDeleteThe things I have been learning lately (and you know I always have to learn the hard way):
1. I have never looked back on my time as a mom and thought, "Man, I should have cleaned my house more often when Roman was a baby". Quite the opposite. I miss those baby days with all the boys once they're gone. I have always tried really hard to spend lots of time with them, and I can happily say that I don't have a lot of regrets. In the moment, though, I do get stressed about my house. but my advice is to choose the baby over the cleanliness. You'll have plenty of time to clean later.
2. I have also learned that I can get a lot done during a 30 min nap, and that I do really well under pressure...as in "oh, friends are coming for dinner. shoot! I need to pick up really quick!"
3. Dawn Aitchison once told me she makes decisions by asking "what is eternally significant?" I think about that all the time now. She is so wise.
4. Simplify. I would rather have less obligations outside of the home while we have littles. when they are teenageers, they won't want to hang out with me and then I can volunteer to help with more stuff.
5. God time. Oh, how I wish that I was telling you this because I'm doing a good job of it. Remember Mary and Martha? Martha is too worried about her house to spend time with Jesus. But Mary chooses the "better part" by sitting at the Savior's feet. I find that I everything seems to get done if I make time for prayer.
6. Accept "good enough". This is super hard for me, but I would rather have a "good enough" house than "good enough" kids.
Love you! You're doing a great job!